As my family are fond of demonstrating to me, control is an illusion. Why do I maintain my belief that by having dinner on the table at 6pm, lunchboxes filled and bedtime stories over with by 8pm I am demonstrating full control of my evenings, and that all will run smoothly? Why do I even aspire to be in control? Why can’t I just relax and go with the flow?
I am finding some of the answers to these questions in my lastest favourite book “Wired for Life – retrain your brain and thrive” by Martina Sheehan and Susan Pearse. In this book these Australian business coaches through their business Mind Gardeners, explore the way our brains evolved to help us survive in prehistoric times, and how in modern times these subconscious responses to perceived threats can be less than helpful. Their premise is that by actively cultivating our minds and learning to be aware of our brain’s subconscious patterns, we can take charge of thriving in our lives.
For instance in the chapter on fear of losing control they explain that “the unfortunate side effect of your brain’s attempt to help you survive is that it will not distinguish between those things you can control and those that you cannot. It will reward your attempts to control, even if you are setting yourself up for a fall. And it will trigger your sense of threat in the face of uncertainty, trying to force you into action so you take control, even if that control is just a myth.” page 52.
I found this a user friendly and thought provoking book, with great resources and explanations. Read more about this fascinating look at how our brains have evolved and the effect on our behaviour in my book review on the Emerge Supervision website.
